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This is for those of you who hadn’t a Valentine.

Yesterday was lovely. I had class until five, but I left early and ended up doing homework until around 9 or so. I then went over to my friend Lorena’s apartment, had some shots, and watched Breakfast At Tiffany’s. I don’t know why, but halfway through the movie I started fiddling with a lighter and got the sudden urge to burn something.

Funnily enough, about a month ago I put all of the stuff from a previous relationship in a bag and hid it in Lorena’s closet. What happened next goes without saying. In case any of you are wondering, bullshit is extremely flammable.

It was surprisingly easy. Photos, cards, gifts… all of it! The hardest part was watching the flames devour Jack Sparrow’s face, but it had to be done. Lorena helped feed the fire with various items from her past relationship, including a phone with loads of text messages. 

What happened next is just fantastic… because of our lack of sobriety, neither of us objected to burning the phone. So there we were, watching all of our wasted time turn into ashes and then BOOM! The battery exploded. It was hilarious, really. I ran back inside, I nearly had a heart attack.

All in all, it was a good day. In the velvet darkness of the blackest night, burning bright, there’s a guiding star, no matter what or who you are.

Oh and yes, everything does happen for a reason. Just thought you should all know.